“You are you. Now, isn’t that pleasant?” ~Dr. Seuss
One thing I know for sure is that the more me I am, the more I find myself surrounded by the things that light me up.
The more me I was when dating, the closer I got to the partner I have now. The more me I have been in my business, the busier it has gotten. The more me I’ve been with my friends, the more friends I’ve made who are aligned with my values.
If you’ve followed me for any period of time, you know that I struggle with all of this law of attraction hoopla that has been making its way around the pseudo-spiritual world — largely found on the internet, not surprisingly — for quite some time.
Because I think it is a watered-down, overly-simplistic, self-serving representation of the way the world actually works.
Look, I am not physicist, but I do know bullshit when I see it (most of the time) and there is a lot of bullshit flying around these days, much of it taking liberties with quantum physics in a way that probably makes actual physicists cry themselves to sleep at night.
And I do not believe that you can just sit in your room and meditate and visualize and feel the way you want to feel and then wake up one day with everything you’ve ever wanted.
Nope. Not even close.
And I don’t believe that the Universe is working on my behalf.
To be honest, I pretty much think the Universe maintains a neutral position on me and my life, and that she (or he or it, but probably she) isn’t all that invested in whether or not I succeed or fail.
Maybe this makes me a pessimist. Maybe it makes me a realist. Either way, it makes me, well, me.
So what do I believe? That there is a whole lot of good out there to be had. That the Universe isn’t stingy with the good stuff even if it isn’t necessarily handing it out intentionally to all those folks making vision boards in their bedrooms.
I believe that meditating and visualizing and letting yourself imagine the life you want are important parts of the process, but not because the Universe can see you doing so, rather because these actions bring the things you desire into the forefront of your consciousness so that you can more easily recognize them when you stumble across them in your life.
Imagine you wake up in the morning and think about a yellow duck, meditate on it, visualize it, maybe even write it down. Probably when you go out into the world that day, you’re going to be more sensitive to the presence of any yellow ducks you might come across. Right?
Well, this is kind of how I think about manifesting. If you are spending time each day or each week focusing on what you want in this life, imagining a certain future, creating a visual image of those desires in your mind, you are going to be much more primed to notice and take advantage of any opportunity you encounter during your days that might bring you closer to your vision.
You’ll also interpret your experience through the lens of those desires and start to see signs all around you pointing you in their direction.
Is this because the Universe is like, “Hey! Go this way!”? Personally, I don’t think so.
I think it’s because you’ve put yourself in a state of mind — and body — that wants to see signs, that believes the Universe is full of goodness and opportunity, and that is prepared to seek these things out.
Am I making sense? I hope so. At least a little bit.
So what does this have to do with being yourself?
Well, if you’re pretending to be something you’re not, you might just find yourself moving towards a life you don’t actually desire. You’ll likely find yourself in places and with people who don’t really feel aligned with who you are.
Things will feel harder. It will be more challenging to see opportunities to move in the direction of your dreams because you’ll be distracted and energetically caught up in all the pretense of being a version of yourself that isn’t actually you at all.
I have done this in my life. Pretended. Felt like I needed to be something other than who I am. And let me tell you, it is 100% not awesome.
Making the decision to own my quirks and my eccentricities and my sometimes social awkwardness that can come across as aloofness but is actually just my secret, introverted shyness has been life-changing.
It has allowed to get out of my own way, has made space in my brain for focusing on the things that truly light me up, has made it infinitely easier to know who my people are and to know when something is a “Hell yeah” and when something is a “Fuck no.”
My business coach recently told me on one of our calls: “You’re weird like me.” Past, pretending-to-be-something-she-wasn’t Cayly might have been offended by this.
But now? All I could think was, “Hell, yes. I am. Let’s do this.”
So, embrace your idiosyncrasies and your weirdness and the you-ness of you. These things are a prerequisite for living the life you desire.
Audio version: