Curious & Curiouser Podcast, Episode 43: What to do When You Feel Lazy, Incompetent, or Unattractive, & How to Start Changing Your Story

What does it actually look like to change your story? What actions can you take to start writing a different narrative?

These are the questions Tracey and I are addressing on this week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser. So, if you’re looking for some concrete advice about how to break out of an outdated story you’re telling in your own life, this conversation is for you.

You’ll also get some insight into the default stories Tracey and I often find ourselves coming back to, and the specific things we do to challenge those stories when they arise. Our stories are pretty universal, so it’s quite possible they’ll resonate with many of you as well.

As always, 5-star ratings and reviews in iTunes are sincerely appreciated. So please consider leaving one if you haven’t already! Thanks, y’all!

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Highlights from this episode:

  • Why is it so hard to change our stories?
  • Do our default stories ever go away completely?
  • Getting stuck in the family story when you go home as an adult
  • Tracey’s oldest story about being fat and unattractive and how this is influenced by culture
  • How family can contribute to this story about being unattractive
  • How do we challenge our stories? What questions do we ask or tools do we use when our old stories come up?
  • The relationship between our stories and deeply ingrained brain patterns
  • The importance of taking the shame out of our stories
  • Brene Brown
  • My outdated story about being lazy
  • Which comes first:  action or desire?
  • What is the payoff for staying in your old story?
  • Ask Polly by Heather Havrilesky:  Why Am I So Lazy?
  • How we can project our stories outward onto other people?
  • How do Tracey and I define lightbulb moments? Do we believe in instantaneous change?
  • Why we should be skeptical about quick fixes
  • Episode 12 about the Stories We Tell Ourselves
  • Tell Yourself a Better Story on my website
  • The silly thing I do while I work out to help me change my story
  • The downside to getting stuck in our own stories
  • And more!

Piquing Our Curiosity:

Bead For Life, an organization providing business training and mentorship to women living in poverty to help them become self-sustaining entrepreneurs. They also provide a market for the beads and other products created by these women, many of whom are also talented artisans. You can see an example of the beautiful, handcrafted paper beads in this photo of me wearing a pair of earrings I purchased through this organization. To learn more about Bead for Life and to see the impact they are having, go here. To date, they have reached 46,000 individuals in Uganda alone.


Remember, if you have any topics or questions you’d like us to address in a future episode, comment here or email us at our joint email account: We’d love to hear from you!

Finally, one more request for you to please head over to iTunes and leave us a 5-star rating and/or review if you’re enjoying the podcast. Please note that you have to search for Curious & Curiouser in iTunes in order to leave a review — even if you’re already subscribed. Thanks so much for the support and for taking this annoying extra step to rate us. We really appreciate it!