Curious & Curiouser Podcast, Episode 45: Bad Sex, Female Pleasure, & Aziz Ansari

How do we define bad sex? Do men and women see this differently?

On this week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and I are talking about bad sex, female pleasure, sex education, and — yes — the recent Aziz Ansari story currently making waves.

We are discussing the ineffectiveness of sex education in this country, the importance of having conversations with kids about sex, and why adults need to have more open dialogue with each other about sexual pleasure, desire, and fantasy.

If you enjoy this episode, please consider leaving the show a 5-star rating and/or review in iTunes. And if you have opinions or feedback on this week’s topics, Tracey and I would love to hear from you! Email us at to share your thoughts!

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Highlights from the episode:

  • Do men and women see “bad sex” differently?
  • The Female Price of Male Pleasure on The Week by Lili Loofbourow
  • Whitney Cummings on Joe Rogan’s podcast and sexual trauma
  • How movies and other cultural representations of romance/relationships can encourage coercion and relentless pursuit of women (i.e. playing hard to get)
  • Consent is an ongoing, overt conversation
  • Why women grin and bear it during uncomfortable and/or painful sexual encounters
  • When parents don’t want to talk to their kids about sex and the fear that education encourages early sexual activity (hint:  it doesn’t)
  • Normalizing female pleasure
  • Girls & Sex by Peggy Orenstein
  • For Goodness Sex by Al Vernacchio
  • Vaginismus and Vulvodynia
  • Female viagra tested on men
  • The importance of women having conversations with each other about sex, their bodies, etc.
  • My experience of having bad sex in my 20s and gritting my teeth to get through
  • Fear of being sexually rejected
  • How pornography gives us unrealistic expectations of what sex should look like
  • Dan Savage
  • How much sex education do Tracey’s kids get in their schools?
  • How the conversation changed when Tracey started dating after her divorce
  • Is sex sexier if it’s mysterious?
  • There were parts of the story about Aziz Ansari that resonated with both Tracey and me
  • Episode 44 on political correctness
  • Wild Feminine by Tami Lynn Kent and Holistic Pelvic Care
  • Liz Winters, NTP of Sprout Wellness
  • Ruth Rodgers of Intrepid Athletics (Tracey’s and my crossfit coach)
  • And more!

Piquing Our Curiosity:

Cycles + Sex, “a movement to educate and celebrate the interconnectedness of our menstrual, hormonal, reproductive, and sexual health.” Find them on Instagram here and listen to their podcast here. I love what this organization is doing and support their mission wholeheartedly.


Finally, one more request for you to please head over to iTunes and leave us a 5-star rating and/or review if you’re enjoying the podcast. Please note that you have to search for Curious & Curiouser in iTunes in order to leave a review — even if you’re already subscribed. Thanks so much for the support and for taking this annoying extra step to rate us. We really appreciate it!