Curious & Curiouser Podcast, Episode 42: Codependence, Emotional Maturity, & How to Stop Taking Everything So Personally

What is emotional maturity?

Good question, huh? Doesn’t it seem like emotional maturity is all the rage these days, except that nobody is actually talking about what it really means to be emotionally mature.

Tracey and I agree. Which is why we chose this topic for today’s episode of the podcast.

In this conversation, we talk about some of the hallmarks of emotionally mature people, how you can start to cultivate more emotional maturity in your own life, and how to deal with those folks in your life who maybe aren’t so emotionally mature themselves.

Tracey and I explain what codependence looks like in a relationship, and talk about our own experiences of dealing with codependent behavior, including how we have learned to curtail it before it takes over. Tracey also describes the differences between narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder, and offers some tips on how to handle people in your life who might fit these descriptions.

Enjoy this discussion and please consider leaving the show a 5-star rating and/or review in iTunes if you find it helpful. Tracey and I would really appreciate it!

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Highlights from this episode:

  • Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
  • Three big defining attributes of emotionally mature people
  • How a healthy relationship is like a well-designed house
  • Working with reality instead of fighting it
  • Thinking and feeling at the same time and how this relates to empathy
  • Dan Siegel and brain integration; logic informed by emotion
  • Are teenagers capable of thinking and feeling at the same time?
  • Is overly logical better than overly emotional?
  • Consistency and reliability, which fosters trust
  • What happens when parents are inconsistent and unpredictable? What about with an intimate partner?
  • Not taking things personally and why most things are not about you at all, especially with kids and partners
  • What I have learned about relationships from my cat:  My Cat is a Jerk and Other Truths About Letting Go on my website
  • Why it can feel easier to make everything about you
  • Laughing at yourself and your mistakes and not being easily offended
  • Personality disorders:  The difference between narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personalty disorder
  • Is it possible to overcome borderline personality disorder?
  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy
  • Why boundaries are important and compassionate
  • Emotional enmeshment, especially parents with their children
  • Guilt about disengaging from the family system
  • What is codependence? How does this show up in relationships with children and intimate partners?
  • Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
  • Codependence Anonymous
  • How codependence gets subtly condoned in our society
  • Our experiences in codependent relationships
  • Don’t Be a Jerk on Tracey’s website
  • And more!

Piquing Our Curiosity:

Magic Unicorn Sea Salt by Beautiful Briny Sea, which is an artisan dry goods company based in Atlanta, Georgia — a place that has a special place in Tracey’s heart. As they say on their website this salt is “a blend of smoked paprika, garlic, rosemary, celery seed and pure ocean salt that can gussy up just about any dish. Seriously, put it on anything — it’s magic.” They also offer Santa Sea Salt, Lavender Sea Salt, and something called Hot Steve Sea Salt — which sounds hilariously spicy. Find all their products here and let us know what you think!


Remember, if you have any topics or questions you’d like us to address in a future episode, comment here or email us at our joint email account: We’d love to hear from you!

Finally, one more request for you to please head over to iTunes and leave us a 5-star rating and/or review if you’re enjoying the podcast. Please note that you have to search for Curious & Curiouser in iTunes in order to leave a review — even if you’re already subscribed. Thanks so much for the support and for taking this annoying extra step to rate us. We really appreciate it!