Curious & Curiouser Podcast, Episode 29: How to Make Friends as an Adult & Why It’s Okay to Ruffle Some Feathers Along the Way

On this week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and I are talking about how to make friends as adults (SO hard, you guys) and our experiences in building community in our lives.

This conversation is a response to yet another listener question, in which a question-asker who shall remain nameless sent in the following inquiry:

Have you cultivated your communities intentionally and how have you handled adjusting the people in your communities as you — and others — evolve?

Great question, anonymous listener!

Tracey and I have talked about social decluttering on at least two previous episodes, and we were glad to have the opportunity to revisit this topic one more time. In this discussion, we talk about how our communities have developed over the years, explore the challenges of making friends as adults, and offer advice on how to begin cultivating community more intentionally in your own life.

Listen, enjoy, and then share this conversation with your friends! And leave reviews and 5-star ratings in iTunes if you feel so inclined. Tracey and I would really appreciate it!

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Highlights from the episode:

  • Episode 4 on Social Decluttering
  • Episode 23 on Dating, Authenticity, and Social Decluttering revisited
  • Episode 28 on Jealousy and Mean Girls
  • Community for Tracey and me as conglomerations of friends from different parts of our lives
  • What happened when Tracey brought various members of her community together for her birthday this year
  • What is my number one criteria for determining who I decide to spend time with
  • How Tracey’s relationship with her family of origin has influenced the community she has created
  • Do Tracey and I still have friends from our high school years?
  • Why do I think I have so few friends from high school and college?
  • How being vulnerable with others fosters intimacy and community
  • Brene Brown on The Anatomy of Trust
  • How divorce helped Tracey learn about the importance of asking for help
  • Moving towards uncomfortable emotions to help foster community
  • The Difference Between Empathy & Sympathy by Brene Brown
  • Acknowledging another person’s painful emotions without trying to fix them or sugarcoat them
  • The challenge of meeting new friends as adults
  • Cheryl Strayed and Dear Sugars on friendships ending
  • How to adjust the people that are in your community as you and your needs change
  • Is social decluttering ever the kind thing to do? Can you break up with a friend without ruffling feathers?
  • Have Tracey and I been socially decluttered from other people’s lives? How has that gone for us?
  • How being yourself helps cultivate your community
  • Do we stay friends with people even when it is inconvenient?
  • And more!

Piquing Our Curiosity this week:

Instant Pot, which is essentially like a crockpot, but faster. This little gadget has revolutionized how Tracey does dinner and has made her meal-prepping life significantly easier. Go here to learn more about it. You won’t regret this purchase. She promises.


Remember, if you have any topics or questions you’d like us to address in a future episode comment here or email us at our joint email account: We’d love to hear from you!

Finally, one more request for you to please head over to iTunes and leave us a 5-star rating and/or review if you’re enjoying the podcast. Please note that you have to search for Curious & Curiouser in iTunes in order to leave a review — even if you’re already subscribed. Thanks so much for the support and for taking this annoying extra step to rate us. We really appreciate it!