Curious & Curiouser Podcast, Episode 28: On Mean Girls, Jealousy, & Taking Radical Responsibility for Your Life

On this week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and I are tackling yet another listener question, revisiting the topics of jealousy and envy but exploring in more detail how these play out between women and girls specifically.

The question as presented by our listener, Maddison, is:  How do you pinpoint and overcome jealousy of other women and insecurity with yourself?

Deep breaths before this one, folks. Because it’s about to get potentially uncomfortable up in here. But also hilarious, as usual. And hopefully helpful as well.

Tracey and I start by identifying the most common ways in which jealousy, envy, and insecurity show up among women and offer tips on how to navigate these feelings when they do arise. We also talk about the importance of identifying your values, the power of taking radical responsibility for your own life, and discuss how cultural messaging contributes to this habit of comparison-making among women.

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Highlights from this episode:

  • Our super high-tech podcast recording studio
  • Are envy and jealousy between women different than having these feelings between genders?
  • Mean Girls
  • How to tell if you’re getting caught up in envy, jealousy, or playing the comparison game
  • What is the difference between jealousy, envy, and insecurity?
  • What are the areas of life around which women feel these feelings about each other?
  • What Cayly does when she finds herself comparing her style to the style of other women, especially when envy comes up
  • Tracey’s habit of complimenting other women with intention and sincerity, and how that helps combat envy and judgment
  • Seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes in order to alter your perspective
  • Why it’s ok if it takes work to feel secure in yourself and to get out of the comparison trap
  • How cultural messages towards women foster envy and jealousy
  • Loving yourself is a rebellious act and you can choose not to participate in the one-downsmanship that often happens
  • You can acknowledge so-called flaws and still appreciate yourself and your body
  • The power of acknowledging your envy with friends and talking about the elephant in the room
  • What happened when Cayly told her friend she was jealous of her relationship
  • You never know the whole story and things are always more complicated than they seem
  • Hunger:  A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay
  • How getting to a place where you feel worthwhile just as you are helps to disarm jealousy and envy
  • What does it mean to take radical responsibility for your life?
  • Why it’s important to know what your values are
  • Does your life reflect what you claim to value?
  • Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink & Leif Babin
  • What’s the role of feeling not in charge when it comes to jealousy, envy, & insecurity?
  • How control relates to the idea of taking radical responsibility
  • Bonus link:  Bootylicious by Destiny’s Child
  • And more!

Piquing Our Curiosity this week:

Artifact Uprising, a beautiful photography website that allows you to print your own photos or create gorgeous photo books and have them sent directly to your house with very little work on your part. They also have a sweet iPhone app that enables you to order prints and books directly from your phone. Pretty cool, if you ask us. Go here to learn more.

Remember, if you have any topics or questions you’d like us to address in a future episode comment here or email us at our joint email account: We’d love to hear from you!

Finally, one more request for you to please head over to iTunes and leave us a 5-star rating and/or review if you’re enjoying the podcast. Please note that you have to search for Curious & Curiouser in iTunes in order to leave a review — even if you’re already subscribed. Thanks so much for the support and for taking this annoying extra step to rate us. We really appreciate it!