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    This Isn’t A Test: The Comparison Trap and Why You Should Keep Your Eyes On Your Own Paper

This Isn’t A Test: The Comparison Trap and Why You Should Keep Your Eyes On Your Own Paper

“Comparison is the death of joy.” ~Mark Twain

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was to keep my eyes on my own paper.

Which was basically just a suggestion to stop looking outside myself for constant validation and to start doing the hard work of figuring out who I was and who I wanted to become instead of expecting someone else to give me all the answers.

Most of us feel this innate pull to compare ourselves to others at every turn.

We compare our careers and our incomes and our homes and our relationships and our bodies and our […]

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    Curious & Curiouser Podcast, Episode 10: Relationships & Attachment

Curious & Curiouser Podcast, Episode 10: Relationships & Attachment

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This week on the podcast, Tracey and I are talking about attachment — a topic about which Tracey is an expert and something she works on regularly in her work with clients.

Specifically, we’re asking the question:  How does being curious about your own attachment style enhance your relationships?

(Spoiler alert:  It helps SO MUCH. Seriously.)

Tracey starts off this episode by giving a brief history of attachment theory, breaking down the three main attachment styles that play out in adult relationships. Tracey and I […]

Curious & Curiouser Podcast, Episode 9: Manifesting

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In this week’s episode of the podcast, Tracey and I talk about manifesting — a word we see being tossed around a lot in the self-help and personal development arena — often to the detriment of those who fall prey to the hype. We discuss the ways that our attempts to manifest can go wrong and leave us feeling less content in the end. We also call bullshit on The Secret (which is something I did previously in […]

Curious & Curiouser Podcast, Episode 8: Sex Myths Debunked

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Another episode of the podcast is here! This week, Tracey and I are continuing our conversation from last week, debunking some myths floating around about sex, sexual pleasure, and our bodies.

We decided to continue this discussion after the House of Representatives passed the healthcare bill last week — a bill that left both of us feeling extremely disappointed and pretty fired up. We recorded this episode the day after the bill passed, and we get a little political at the beginning of the conversation, not […]

Curious & Curiouser Podcast, Episode 7: Sex and Desire

Sex and desire. These are the topics for this week’s podcast episode.

(Spicy!)

Tracey and I started this podcast because we wanted a place to have honest, unfiltered conversations, to talk about things that get pushed aside or pretended away or ignored because they might lead to discomfort or uncertainty.

Well, I think we might have nailed it (pun intended) with this episode. It’s possible some parts of our discussion will make you slightly uncomfortable. Hopefully this dialogue also makes you think a little bit.

At the very least, I hope you laugh. We certainly did.

Please note that we talk very openly and honestly about sex, sex education, and […]

Let’s Stop Pathologizing Anxiety, Shall We?

“Our task must be to free ourselves… by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”  ~ Albert Einstein

Is anxiety always pathological? I think not.

As someone with a previous history of panic attacks that seemed to arise out of nowhere, I can say that I am very familiar with the experience of an anxiety that is persistent and disruptive to everyday living, and an anxiety that can be difficult to trace to a specific origin.

But I think automatically labeling all anxiety as pathological is unhelpful for a myriad of reasons.

Most notably, anxiety is your body trying to send a […]

Announcing the Curious & Curiouser Podcast

Oh hey! Guess what? I started a podcast!

I know! I’m super excited, too. This project was birthed out of a random tea date with a friend, Tracey, who also happens to be a brilliant woman with a private therapy practice here in Portland, Oregon.

After wanting to secretly start a podcast on my own for at least a year, I was happy to learn that Tracey was also interested in embarking on such a project, and that we had similar visions for how that […]

I Don’t Know Either

We’re all searching for some sort of certainty except that certainty isn’t something that exists in most cases.

Even in science, something is true only until it isn’t.

Take last week, for example, when two major discoveries were made about how the body functions.

The first demonstrated that the cerebellum — a large structure located at the back of the brain — is more complex in its function than previously thought. It has long been believed that the cerebellum operated largely beyond the arena of conscious awareness, controlling motor function and sensory input only. But now, scientists have shown that […]

You Don’t Have to Be Certain to Be Helpful

I’ve decided that being a relatively content human is often about learning how to hold two contradictory truths in your brain at the same time without imploding.

What do I mean by this?

Well, let’s start with an example — namely, me. Because I am a total contradiction in so many ways.

I am largely a science-y, show me the evidence, where’s the proof kind of person. And yet, I absolutely believe that intuition trumps intellect in many situations. I also study both neurobiology and astrology in my spare time (what???), and while I am ridiculously grateful and content with my life, I am […]

On Breaking Out of the Arbitrary Success Box

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” ~Winston Churchill

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about identity. About how we define ourselves. About how we define success. About how we determine our worth in a world that sees our value as individuals through the lens of some seriously questionable criteria.

And a shockingly soulless list of priorities.

Because it is all too easy in our society to feel like a failure if your life doesn’t look shiny and pretty and perfectly curated.

If you’re not bringing in a certain amount of money every month or living in the […]